Hitting all your targets at work? Got a pile of washing up with your name on it that you just don’t fancy tackling? On a deadline that can’t be missed?
Here are 30 surefire ways to totally derail your day and reduce your productivity to almost nothing…
1. Pinterest. I couldn’t count the hours I’ve spent on this site, scrolling through endless examples of what I should be doing instead!
2. Facebook. Stalk your ex, check every photo of you to make sure it’s flattering, post humble bragging status updates or simply keep hitting refresh on the timeline.
3. Stare out the window. Flaunt your unproductive nature old skool style!
4. Play a game on your phone. Go on, beat that level of Angry Birds that has held you trapped for so long.
5. Google yourself. You never know what you might find.
6. Google your boss, ex, that other Mum on the playground who is always a total cowbag. Again, you never know what you might find!
7. Doodle. It killed time back when you were in school, try your hand at it again.
8. Tongue Twisters. A fun way to achieve absolutely nothing.
9. Take the perfect selfie. Your Facebook profile picture could do with being updated.
10. Learn the alphabet backwards. Could come in handy in a pub quiz one day.
11. Edit every photo in your phone to look like it was taken in the 1800’s. Bust out that unused sepia tone filter in Instagram and share the heck out of your old timey pictures.
12. Write down each of the 50 States in America. This got me through so many A-level geography lessons.
13. Touch your nose with your tongue. You’re doing this right now, aren’t you?!
14. Have kids. You won’t feel really productive for another 18 years or so, even longer of you have more than one.
15. Write a rude limerick. The more swear words the better!
16. Update, or create, a wish list. Amazon is calling your name…
17. See how far you can fly a paper plane. Do you know the best paper plane design?
18. Blow the biggest spit bubble. If it’s ok for toddlers, then why not you?
19. Sing a song. It’ll probably be from Frozen or Dispicable Me if you’re a parent, but rock out anyway.
20. Name every Bond Movie. Another technique I used to utilise in geography class.
21. Learn rude words in a foreign language. Useful and amusing.
22. Plan your dream holiday. Research hotels, flight costs, activities, local restaurants, make sure to use lots of in-depth research.
23. See how many times you can fold a piece of paper. You only need to fold it 42 times to reach the moon.
24. Nap. It’s easy, costs nothing, and can be done almost anywhere (except meetings – normally!).
25 Organise you mug cupboard. Most people have far too many mugs, rearrange yours in order of preference, colour or size.
26. Turn on the telly and channel hop. Turn on, tune in and switch off.
27. Have a really long bath. Soak, exfoliate, scrub, shave, primp and preen. Don’t come out until you resemble a giant prune!
28. Watch cat movies on YouTube. Few things more time consuming than animal videos on the internet.
29. Phone up an elderly relative or friend and ask them about their youth. (Sorry Nan!)
30. Write an inane blog post. See what I did there?! ;-)
What do you do to kill time?